BDSM interviews: R.J. Moray

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Dominant men with a tender side? Passionate werewolves and their not-so-submissive mates? If you like your gay romance with a hint of kink or a splash of the paranormal, Robin Moray has something for you 😉

What do you find appealing about BDSM stories? What prompted you to write them?

There’s something about trust that really gets to me. When you put your trust in someone you’re taking a huge risk. BDSM makes all of that sharper and more immediate—it’s not just a metaphorical or emotional hurt at stake here, they could physically hurt you more than you can handle. So putting your trust in someone in a BDSM context is a powerful, vulnerable thing. I admire that courage.

The urge to write my own came on after reading a story in which the Dominant partner was overwhelmed by his desire to take care of his submissive in every way. Up until that point I’d thought BDSM was all about getting off on spanking someone (and some of it is, delightfully so!) not that kind of loving, caretaking control. It kicked off a deep dive into the kink scene, and when I came up for air…well, I had to write something.

In your opinion, is there a major difference between M/M and M/F BDSM books? Why do you prefer writing M/M?

I don’t read M/F by and large, so I’m not qualified to answer that. For some reason, many tropes in M/F BDSM make me uncomfortable in a way that they simply don’t in M/M or F/F (or NB/anyone). So the preference for writing M/M comes out of a preference for reading M/M.

M/M BDSM appeals to me because I get to decide who tops, who bottoms, who Doms, who subs. I can mix it up however I like. So far, a lot of what I’ve published sticks to pretty traditional lines in that regard, but I’m looking forward to messing with that in the future.

Your serial His Boy Next Door features an experienced Dom a newbie sub. What is most interesting about writing from the POVs of a skilled dominant and a virgin?

Inexperience provides a blank slate on which you can build whatever you like. There’s a moment in His Boy Next Door where someone accuses the Dom of crafting the preferences of his submissive to suit himself. This is something he can’t deny; he has made a submissive in the image of his fantasies. But writing from the perspective of the submissive, I’ve tried to show how this is a journey they’re taking together. The inexperienced sub wants very much to be shaped in this way. The experienced Dom wants to reveal the world of kink for him, like a sadistic tour guide. There’s a joy in showing and being shown, and I hope I’ve managed to convey that to my readers.

What qualities – not necessarily good ones – are most intriguing for you in Doms and subs (from an author’s point of view)?

I love the idea of a Dom who wants to take care of someone, whether they like it or not. It’s deeply controlling, and in the real world it could be a very toxic character trait, thinking you know best for someone. But I find it appealing to write about a Dom who has decided to make someone’s life better and is going to do it one way or another, so they’d better get on board.

For sub characters, it’s the desire to subsume themselves in someone else, giving up their wants and needs to satisfy the other. It’s a very seductive concept, to hand over your will to someone and simply exist for their pleasure. Writing a sub struggling against this urge while judging whether or not they can trust their Dom is very satisfying.

What kinks do you like to portray? Are there any you haven’t written about yet but want to?

It isn’t the specific kinks that I like so much as the underlying dynamics of the relationship. In His Boy Next Door they explore a lot of things, from shibari to exhibitionism to size kink, but under it all the dynamic is about praise, service, and sexual objectification. Meanwhile, in A Collar for His Brat, they play pretty hard with impact play, humiliation, and CBT, but the dynamic is a Sir who will punish his brat as hard as he needs, and gently tend him afterwards.
I haven’t written heavy humiliation. I’m curious. It’s a big no for a lot of readers, but I’d love to give it a go and see what I can tease out of it.

One thought on “BDSM interviews: R.J. Moray

  1. jasmith301 says:

    I’m a huge fan of RJ Moray, so I was thrilled to see this interview! I find her books so gripping to read, where the characters just pull you in and you never want to say goodbye to them. I was fascinated to learn more about how those amazing books come about and get a peek inside her thought processes! Thanks so much for such a wonderful interview!

    Liked by 1 person

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