BDSM interviews: J.R. Gray

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“I have lived a BDSM lifestyle before there were well known words for it like there are now.”

J.R. Gray writes realistic and damaged characters because everyone deserves a happily ever after. And there’s usually quite a bit of kink interwoven into their life stories 😉

What do you want readers to know about your new book Oasis?

This book was a long time coming. I had the plot in my head while I was finishing Clouded Hell. I even wrote a few of the scenes before I finished Clouded Hell. Then I let it sit. Clouded Hell can be read as a standalone but my head kept coming back to these characters.

What prompted you to write M/M BDSM stories?

I have lived a BDSM lifestyle before there were well known words for it like there are now. For me it comes naturally because a lot of my life is intermixed with these types of love.

Your Bound series spins around a BDSM community. Did you have any features of real BDSM clubs and communities in mind?

I didn’t take any real ones in mind while I was creating this. I have always lived in a city but my experience with the BDSM community is smaller and not on a big club level. I’ve always only known small groups of people who play.

Is it more interesting to write about experienced Doms and subs or inexperienced ones?

I prefer a bit of both. I love aspects of training subs and them getting a taste of the lifestyle for the first time, but I also love subs who can push a Dominant’s buttons from day one because they know how to act and what will get a rise out of their dominant. Remi from Clouded Hell and Oasis is a sub like that. He’s bratty and a switch so he knows how to push every one of Dante’s buttons.

What do you think is the biggest false belief about BDSM?

That it’s abuse. When done right with consenting adults it’s not abuse. Even edge play.

How is writing BDSM different than living it?

Living it is messy. It’s not clear lines and happily ever afters all the time. People have different kinks and no matter how much you love someone those things may never mesh. I try to bring those aspects of kink into my books for a more realistic view of love while readers still get their HEAs.

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