BDSM interviews: Measha Stone

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“Reading about a BDSM sex scene is fun, but it’s the characters’ relationship that keeps me enthralled.”

Measha Stone writes erotic romance with Dom/sub themes, so she knows quite a lot about the ways of this lifestyle 🙂

What do you find most appealing about BDSM stories? What might make them interesting for those who don’t practice BDSM in real life?

Personally, I love dominant men, and in BDSM romances you don’t have to go through the whole permission to be Alpha thing. They are dominant, so it’s just who they are. It’s the dynamic that draws me into BDSM romances, not so much the activities. Reading about a BDSM sex scene is fun, but it’s the characters’ relationship that keeps me enthralled. I’d say if BDSM isn’t your thing in real life, BDSM romances are a great way to get that thrill of being with a dominant man without having to wade through the vanilla permission slip.

In all of your books, what was the most difficult BDSM scene to write?

Punishment scenes are the hardest for me to write because I try to balance the physical punishment along with the emotions that arise because of it. I think the belting Sophie earns in Black Light Suspicion was one of the most difficult because he was pretty hard with her. He needed to be harsh with her because she’d lied, but he couldn’t go too hard because she’d never experienced the belt before. It was like walking a tight rope.

The heroine of Cuffed has problems voicing her desires. Is it a welcome challenge for a Dom—or is it boding trouble? What would you recommend to those who are shy or for some reason unwilling to ask for what they really want when it comes to kinks?

I think it depends on the Dom. Some will like the challenge of drawing the desires out of the sub. It certainly opens up the floor for some interrogation play. While others might find it annoying and not want to put the energy into extracting the desires out.

For someone who finds it hard to really say what they enjoy there’s a few things they can do. They can make a written list when they are alone and then hand it over to their play partner. As I mentioned before, interrogation play could also work for this. The Dom could interrogate the sub until she confesses her desires. But in the end, it’s really important to keep communication honest and open so both the Dom and sub have fun and are kept safe.

In Black Light: Suspicion your characters become partners not only at work, during an investigation, but also in a kink club. Mixing pleasure with business might be tricky, but does the fact that it’s a kinky relationship make things even more complicated?

It did make it trickier for Scott to keep his dominant tendencies in check while they were working. He had to balance his desire to protect her, while still giving her the freedom to do her job well. Her strength as a detective attracted him to her just as much as her submission, so he had to find that balance in order to keep her happy and their relationship from crashing.

In Until You, Jade and Garrick are moving from being friends to lovers. Moreover, Garrick craves to dominate in their relationship. In your opinion, what dominants should do not to spook off their lovers who have no or little experience in BDSM?

Honesty. Brutal honesty and go slow. Be upfront about what you want/need in a relationship. Having said that, it’s also important not to overwhelm the other person. Going all in on the first date will likely scare them off before dessert shows up, but if it’s a slow introduction with honest, open communication throughout the transition they will be less likely to run for the hills. Of course, this also means making sure they are on board with it. Starting to Dom a woman without talking about it won’t get you anywhere. In Until You, Garrick had the good fortune to know Jade well enough to know she had some submissive tendencies.

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